Thanks for posting this - a good bit of your description of the downward spiral to nobodylovesmeland sounds awfully familiar :/

I've been in that loop a few times myself, and my reasons for going there are somewhat different - I keep thinking that if I dwell on what went wrong I'll figure out where it went wrong and thus circumvent it in the future. As you've figured out, dwelling doesn't work.

I think it takes incredible nerve to defang the beast by sharing it with others!