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Random Ruminations
Now I really and truly am all done with xmas shopping, even for the workplace Secret Santa and for 12th Night items. I've printed out the xmas card mailing spreadsheet so I can start addressing envelopes at lunch tomorrow. And I've realized that in addition to packing for the trip east, I should pre-pack for 12th night, since even with the best of scheduling, I'll be leaving for the event the same day I get back in town. (In worst case, I may barely get home long enough to switch suitcases.)
Concert Review: Chris Williamson & Friends at the Freight and Salvage
I had a date Sunday evening (a 2nd date, even) to go see Chris Williamson at the Freight. This was sort of a "memory lane" pick for me, since I've been at least an occasional fan of Williamson since back in the late '70s when she was one of the anchor artists for Olivia Records. (I think I own her first album, The Changer and the Changed in LP, cassette, and CD at this point.) Given the demographics of the audience, I suspect I wasn't the only one.
The concert was very enjoyable, although not quite what I expected on several levels. For one thing, evidently Chris was having some sort of vocal problems, so despite being the headliner, she did very little performing. This seems to have been a last-minute adjustment, so there was a fair amount of ... spontaneity in the playlist. But the other performers (Teresa Trull, Barbara Higbie, Vicki Randle, and Julie Wolf) evidently have enough history performing together that at least on the performance side there was absolutely nothing to complain about (except for the decibel level on a few of the "really belt it out" songs). Of the four, I only recognized Trull's name in advance, but when it was pointed out to me, I did recognize Randle from her Tonight Show work as well.
The playlist was also a bit of a surprise, but evidently the new album being flogged is something of a Christmas (or at least winter) themed collection, so the general flavor was seasonal. I didn't pick up that one, but did get one of Williamson's more recent CDs, Real Deal and am looking forward to seeing what she's been writing lately.
Unrelated Rumination: On Flirting with Straight Women
I posted the following response on![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
wingedcorset's blog, in response to a discussion generally on the topic of same-sex flirtation by people not interested in same-sex relationships. And since it involves some thoughts I've been meaning to try to express for a while, I figured I'd echo it over here. Yes, some of the people I'm talking about are readers of my journal, but I've also brought the topic up in person so this isn't intended as a "griping behind people's backs" thing.
* * *
In the last couple of years, I've been finding myself hanging out with a significant number of straight (mostly married) women who enjoy doing some fairly physical flirting (or, in some cases perhaps, pretending to flirt) with other women in "party" situations. I've been on the receiving end of some of this attention and, while I appreciate that it's meant in a spirit of fun and friendship, I'm not entirely happy about it in ways that took a bit of analysis to figure out (and are even harder to explain).
As a lesbian (and a single lesbian, at that) I certainly enjoy flirting and making out with women (within certain constraints of taste and ethics). And I'm comfortable with the understanding that the whole point of flirting is that it doesn't have to be serious or meaningful. But when a straight woman is flirting with me there's a significant asymmetry to the involvement that makes it less fun for me than it is for the other person. This effect seems to consist of equal parts of the following:
* I am robbed of the enjoyment of there being a potential for the flirting to turn into something more.
* The straight woman is operating from a "safe" position of knowing that nothing she does will be taken seriously, whereas if I reciprocate I have to worry about crossing the line or being interpreted as making serious advances rather than "just playing".
* I feel like I'm being treated like a "safe" target and therefore being de-sexualized, or at least disrespected as a sexual being.
None of this has anything to do with any potential male audience -- and I've never gotten the impression that these women engaging in same-sex flirting as a performance for a male audience. It seems to be a sincerely open-minded expression of female friendship. And it's quite possible that if I were in a committed relationship and therefore also coming from a safely "not serious" position, it wouldn't bother me in the same way. And on the third hand, I hate to reinforce the myth that I'm stuck-up and unapproachable. But when a woman flirts with me, I want her to mean it dammit.
Concert Review: Chris Williamson & Friends at the Freight and Salvage
I had a date Sunday evening (a 2nd date, even) to go see Chris Williamson at the Freight. This was sort of a "memory lane" pick for me, since I've been at least an occasional fan of Williamson since back in the late '70s when she was one of the anchor artists for Olivia Records. (I think I own her first album, The Changer and the Changed in LP, cassette, and CD at this point.) Given the demographics of the audience, I suspect I wasn't the only one.
The concert was very enjoyable, although not quite what I expected on several levels. For one thing, evidently Chris was having some sort of vocal problems, so despite being the headliner, she did very little performing. This seems to have been a last-minute adjustment, so there was a fair amount of ... spontaneity in the playlist. But the other performers (Teresa Trull, Barbara Higbie, Vicki Randle, and Julie Wolf) evidently have enough history performing together that at least on the performance side there was absolutely nothing to complain about (except for the decibel level on a few of the "really belt it out" songs). Of the four, I only recognized Trull's name in advance, but when it was pointed out to me, I did recognize Randle from her Tonight Show work as well.
The playlist was also a bit of a surprise, but evidently the new album being flogged is something of a Christmas (or at least winter) themed collection, so the general flavor was seasonal. I didn't pick up that one, but did get one of Williamson's more recent CDs, Real Deal and am looking forward to seeing what she's been writing lately.
Unrelated Rumination: On Flirting with Straight Women
I posted the following response on
wingedcorset's blog, in response to a discussion generally on the topic of same-sex flirtation by people not interested in same-sex relationships. And since it involves some thoughts I've been meaning to try to express for a while, I figured I'd echo it over here. Yes, some of the people I'm talking about are readers of my journal, but I've also brought the topic up in person so this isn't intended as a "griping behind people's backs" thing.* * *
In the last couple of years, I've been finding myself hanging out with a significant number of straight (mostly married) women who enjoy doing some fairly physical flirting (or, in some cases perhaps, pretending to flirt) with other women in "party" situations. I've been on the receiving end of some of this attention and, while I appreciate that it's meant in a spirit of fun and friendship, I'm not entirely happy about it in ways that took a bit of analysis to figure out (and are even harder to explain).
As a lesbian (and a single lesbian, at that) I certainly enjoy flirting and making out with women (within certain constraints of taste and ethics). And I'm comfortable with the understanding that the whole point of flirting is that it doesn't have to be serious or meaningful. But when a straight woman is flirting with me there's a significant asymmetry to the involvement that makes it less fun for me than it is for the other person. This effect seems to consist of equal parts of the following:
* I am robbed of the enjoyment of there being a potential for the flirting to turn into something more.
* The straight woman is operating from a "safe" position of knowing that nothing she does will be taken seriously, whereas if I reciprocate I have to worry about crossing the line or being interpreted as making serious advances rather than "just playing".
* I feel like I'm being treated like a "safe" target and therefore being de-sexualized, or at least disrespected as a sexual being.
None of this has anything to do with any potential male audience -- and I've never gotten the impression that these women engaging in same-sex flirting as a performance for a male audience. It seems to be a sincerely open-minded expression of female friendship. And it's quite possible that if I were in a committed relationship and therefore also coming from a safely "not serious" position, it wouldn't bother me in the same way. And on the third hand, I hate to reinforce the myth that I'm stuck-up and unapproachable. But when a woman flirts with me, I want her to mean it dammit.