hrj

I tend to think that fandom and filking (and to some extent the SCA) are particular danger-zones because each has some version of the tribal myth that "we are all one close, caring, accepting, friendly family -- unlike the cold, rejecting, uncaring mundane world". Whereas, in reality, they share all the variability, flaws, and basic primate dynamics of any human society. But the contrast between the tribal myth and the reality tends to set people up to blame themselves if their own experience doesn't match the myth.