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Feeling Semi-Unmotivated
Apr. 30th, 2010 12:50 amI'm feeling kind of 'meh' about going to coronation this weekend. Currently I'm all focused on getting the Kalamazoo paper written. And it's not that it's a mad scramble or anything (I've long since had all the data collected; I have a detailed outline in several versions; and I have all my conclusions), although I'm keeping in mind that formatting the handout and slides will take twice as long as I think it will. But it isn't leaving me much bandwidth to do any "extras" for a weekend in the middle ages. No new recipe noodling -- in fact I haven't really thought about food at all. Which means no random spontaneous dinner guest thing. I've deliberately not done any advance packing, since it isn't like I'm going to get there before dark any way, so what's the point in taking off promptly enough to get caught in rush hour? Thank goodness for pre-set modular packing lists so I don't have to worry about forgetting anything. It's not that I don't expect to enjoy myself ... I just feel a sneaking urge to blow it off and stay home writing on my paper.
This is probably a passing mental aberration. As evidence of my questionable judgement, this afternoon I also found myself seriously contemplating the boss's question about whether I'd be interested in the Wed-Sat morning shift position that's currently vacant. (One of the co-workers is out on long-term medical leave.) I'd undoubtedly hate it, so I don't know why I'd even think twice, except I feel like my life needs shaking up. Except it doesn't. I'm back in that mood where ever little thing that I've committed to doing because I know I'll enjoy doing it feels like a lead brick in my backpack.
I'm tired of the rain. (The only personal good thing it's brought so far is the promise of a truly bumper crop of plums from my tree this year.) I'm tired of not having the mental energy to organize or seek out the sorts of socializing that I enjoy, as opposed to tagging along with social activities where I love the people individually but the activity itself is only marginally tolerable.
Wow, maybe I can work my way back up to "meh" with enough positive thinking.
This is probably a passing mental aberration. As evidence of my questionable judgement, this afternoon I also found myself seriously contemplating the boss's question about whether I'd be interested in the Wed-Sat morning shift position that's currently vacant. (One of the co-workers is out on long-term medical leave.) I'd undoubtedly hate it, so I don't know why I'd even think twice, except I feel like my life needs shaking up. Except it doesn't. I'm back in that mood where ever little thing that I've committed to doing because I know I'll enjoy doing it feels like a lead brick in my backpack.
I'm tired of the rain. (The only personal good thing it's brought so far is the promise of a truly bumper crop of plums from my tree this year.) I'm tired of not having the mental energy to organize or seek out the sorts of socializing that I enjoy, as opposed to tagging along with social activities where I love the people individually but the activity itself is only marginally tolerable.
Wow, maybe I can work my way back up to "meh" with enough positive thinking.
