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My body feels about like it does on the third day of a hiking/biking vacation. Achingly tired, but in a way that makes me really happy about what my body can do. I've been feeling no guilt at all about not making time for the gym in the last two weeks. And conversely, I've been feeling very grateful to all the time I've spent in the gym for the strength and stamina it gives me for this moving process. But that's not what I came here to ruminate on.
One of the things I've been pondering lately is how reflexively I tend to assume ... well, maybe "assume" isn't the right word; perhaps "take as default"? ... that I'm responsible for every detail of the house-sale, move, and future house-purchase. Not just in the "ultimate responsibility" sense, but I default to doing everything myself. (My realtor has occasionally had to remind me that certain tasks are what I'm paying him to do.) On the one hand, well, of course I'm going to do things myself. I'm a household of one: my decisions, my schedules, my responsibility, my benefit. No one else had a say in my decision to sell and move, so no one has an obligation to participate in the process. And yet ...
I do recognize that I can get a bit pathological on the "do everything myself" thing. It isn't meant to shut other people out of my life. And on that front, I want to express how much joy it gives me to get all the feedback and reflected excitement from my online audience. I do want to involve you-all in this part of my life (even if I don't ask for any physical help).
But you know? I do get a charge out of being able to do it all myself. I look at the process of packing up all my worldly belongings and think: Wow. Yeah. I did that! When my realtor boggles and my organization and efficiency, I get a little internal high-five from myself. It isn't only an extreme distaste for a life lived expecting other people to pick up one's pieces.
One of the things I've been pondering lately is how reflexively I tend to assume ... well, maybe "assume" isn't the right word; perhaps "take as default"? ... that I'm responsible for every detail of the house-sale, move, and future house-purchase. Not just in the "ultimate responsibility" sense, but I default to doing everything myself. (My realtor has occasionally had to remind me that certain tasks are what I'm paying him to do.) On the one hand, well, of course I'm going to do things myself. I'm a household of one: my decisions, my schedules, my responsibility, my benefit. No one else had a say in my decision to sell and move, so no one has an obligation to participate in the process. And yet ...
I do recognize that I can get a bit pathological on the "do everything myself" thing. It isn't meant to shut other people out of my life. And on that front, I want to express how much joy it gives me to get all the feedback and reflected excitement from my online audience. I do want to involve you-all in this part of my life (even if I don't ask for any physical help).
But you know? I do get a charge out of being able to do it all myself. I look at the process of packing up all my worldly belongings and think: Wow. Yeah. I did that! When my realtor boggles and my organization and efficiency, I get a little internal high-five from myself. It isn't only an extreme distaste for a life lived expecting other people to pick up one's pieces.
