Movie Review: The Hobbit - Part 3

Hollywood, we have to talk. Someone needs to take away Peter Jackson's carte blanche and put a grownup in charge of his projects until he's demonstrated that he's responsible enough to be given the keys again. Hobbit 3 was a complete snoozefest, filled with endless massed CGI battles and sword-porn, self-inflicted man-pain and synthetic emotion, some wildly inappropriate slapstick party tricks, and not a scrap of salvageable plot or genuine characterization. I re-watch a lot of movies -- I generally run through the entire extended edition LOTR a couple times a year. But I cannot imagine ever voluntarily watching Hobbit 3 a second time in the entirety of my natural life. In fact, it's a wonder I didn't claw my eyes out in the theater to avoid having to complete the first watching. I suggest that Jackson turn his talents to creating hack-and-slash video games. It's clearly his preferred genre.