hrj

I had this interesting self-observation a few weeks ago on one of those days when I was commuting by car rather than by BART. I've always been rather proud of my driving etiquette and absence of any impulses to road rage. You want to merge? Sure thing! Zipper-merging is nearly a religion to me. You're trying to exit a parking lot or service station at a busy intersection? Delighted to pause and let you in. When I've given any thought to it in the past, it's been in terms of politeness, cooperation, and the hope that passing along a positive interaction will propagate throughout society to some small extent.

But then, one day, I had this flash of insight that it's also about power. And about the enjoyment of power. You see, when you want to merge in front of me and I brake back a little to let you in, I have control over that interaction. I can let you merge or I can block you. When I hang back to let someone enter the traffic stream, that's an exercise of power over the situation. It's the same expression of power that can add problematic overtones to door-opening courtesy. (But let's not digress onto that topic at the moment.) And I'm honest enough to admit -- now that I've noticed it -- that one motivation for being a "courteous driver" is those minor, transient thrills of the exercise of power over other people's lives. Yes, I'm Using My Powers for Good, Not Evil, but it's still far from an entirely altruistic act.

Life is funny that way.