Random Thingies

[hrj]

My default wintertime lunch-at-work is Trader Joe's boxed soups (delish!), usually with some unflavored (home-made) yogurt stirred in, a couple Rykrisp slathered with mustard, and a Winter Fruit (this week: pears). I'm not entirely sure what it means that I've taken to slathering the pears with mustard as well. Maybe I have a mustard deficiency.

Yesterday I braved the evening commute traffic on I-80 to go pick up a new piece of glass for the door of my woodstove. One more item that has sat for a couple years on the to-do list and is now checked off. And since this is an actual authentic Jotul replacement part, maybe it won't crack the first time I fire up the stove like the last replacement did.

I am successfully continuing on my "write something fictional every day" plan. It progresses slowly, but it's all about establishing the habit. I've also started working through getting the sheet music cataloged and sifted. One of these days I need to update the master "to do" list to see what the balance is starting to look like.

They say that when you're overweight, the entire world feels entitled to comment on it. I never really experienced that much, but I've definitely found that when you lose a noticable amount of weight, the entire world feels entitled to comment. I still haven't gotten accustomed to the experience of having people I don't know except in passing walk up to me in public and make comments about my weight loss. I have successfully suppressed the urge to to bite their heads off (well, except in the case of one co-worker). I do my best to remember that they think they're being helpful and friendly. But you know what? What I do with my life and my body is all about me. You (generic) haven't the slightest clue what my motivations or goals are unless I've specifically discussed them with you and I generally save those discussions for a very small set of people. I treasure those people because I get to share my actual achievements and not have to deal with mistaken assumptions. In general the things people say to be encouraging have the opposite reaction for me. When you say, "You're looking really great these days" I hear "You used to look really crappy." When you say (jokingly), "You're just shrinking away to nothing" I hear "The idea goal is skeletal thinness." When the only thing that has ever led you to make conversation with me is a change in my body, I hear that you have no actual interest in me as an individual human being. Yeah, yeah, I know -- that isn't what people actually mean. And that's why I smile and say thank you and don't bite their heads off.

Comments

[loup_noir]

Hmmm. Let me come at this from a slightly different perspective. Most women fight with their weight, and having someone notice makes them happy. It becomes a habit, this noticing and complimenting; likewise, it should be a habit to say nothing when a person gains weight. For many, this gambit might be the first thing they felt comfortable enough to say to you. So, like it or not, as long as you continue your healthy ways, people will pause to compliment you.

[thread-walker.livejournal.com]

I was going to comment on your rant-issue, but I know we've talked about this in person, so decided to say,

You look great. Enjoy the respect and admiration that others give you for so successfully making a life-style change that has improved your health. It's not meant as a judgement but as kudos on something that millions of people struggle with everyday.

[kahnegabs.livejournal.com]

Since I'm a person whose body style had changed pretty gradually over the years, I've not thought about those issues. I'm probably one of the ones who says all those things you don't want to hear. (Not to you necessarily, but to anyone.) It's never entered my mind that they might not be considered positive.

You've enlightened me and I'll be very careful of what I think are compliments from now on.

[(Anonymous)]

People used to remember me as fatter than I was. For almost thirty years of adulthood, my weight remained the same. People--relatives who'd known me from babyhood, bare acquaintances, everyone in between--who didn't see me for six weeks or more would say "You've lost weight, haven't you?" This was not a polite ritual, since they weren't saying it to the other women in my generation of various body types. I'd say, "No, I still weigh what I've weighed for 10 (15) (20) years," and they'd looked puzzled.
Now that I've gained about twenty pounds and am trying unsuccessfully to lose it, none of them say that any more. Very Strange.

Mary Anne in Kentucky
spending Thanksgiving catching up on blogs