Random Thursday: Trying not to teach

My department has been participating in a little "internal audit" this week. It might sound scary, but it's really a combination of a sort of friendly "readiness assessment" to identify issues we might want to address or prepare for in respect of upcoming external inspection visits, and also to provide an opportunity for practicing interacting with auditors for people like me.

Now, I have a peculiar problem when it comes to interacting with auditors, because the appropriate behavior is supposed to be something resembling a trial witness facing hostile cross-examination. Answer only the questions asked, be clear and concise and avoid volunteering information, especially if it might inspire further questions.

Clear, I can manage. Concise...not so easy. Avoid volunteering information? Might as well ask me to hold my breath until I turn blue. When someone asks me about an investigation, my impulse is to begin, "Well, it's complicated...let me give you some background."

I love to teach. I love to explain. I love to talk about how complex and inter-related everything is. I love nuance and ambiguity. None of these things are appropriate when talking to an auditor. So I practice with the internal reviewers and watch my boss wince at the other end of the table every time I offer one more word than the prescribed answers.