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Chaos and Stability
Jan. 31st, 2020 10:00 amThese days I often find myself suspended between "ack, the world as we know it is ending and anyone not in full panic mode is complicit" and "there are concrete things I can do to make small parts of the world a better place and it's better for me to focus on doing those things well than panicking about things I can't affect." I lean towards the latter because...well...it involves things I *can* do.
I *can* do my day-job well and conscientiously, and that means that I help deliver medical treatments that make people's lives better (and in some cases save their lives). Say what you like about Big Pharma, we don't actually want to live in a world where effective medical treatments don't exist, or where they can't be relied on to be safe and effective.
I *can* share knowledge and understanding about the diversity of experiences and identities in the past that may help contemporary people feel more connected with history and help them appreciate the long parade of mutable and shifting ways in which identity constructs itself.
I *can* provide entertainment that gives people a respite from the aforementioned full panic mode.
I *can* share and boost information about other people who are doing similar things.
And I can't do all those things well if I'm in full panic mode every moment of the day. But panic can creep in around the edges. One of my co-workers (doing the same job I do) quit abruptly around midnight last night when the stress of having to be on the job until midnight in order to fulfill the requirements of "well and conscientious" became too much. I don't know if the world's ambient full panic mode contributed, but I know it contributes to my overall stress level. When they officially told us about her quitting this morning, we were admonished to speak up to management or HR before we felt we were getting to a breaking point. I pointed out that we were speaking up regularly about the workload pressures (I'm certainly known for it!) and that nothing seemed to change. And now, of course, those of us who are left will need to pick up the half-finished investigations that she was working on, when we already can't keep up with our own workload.
This isn't going anywhere in particular. It's just a day when it's easy to look at the world and wonder what the use is. To feel that even just putting one foot in front of another on the path is complete failure.
I *can* do my day-job well and conscientiously, and that means that I help deliver medical treatments that make people's lives better (and in some cases save their lives). Say what you like about Big Pharma, we don't actually want to live in a world where effective medical treatments don't exist, or where they can't be relied on to be safe and effective.
I *can* share knowledge and understanding about the diversity of experiences and identities in the past that may help contemporary people feel more connected with history and help them appreciate the long parade of mutable and shifting ways in which identity constructs itself.
I *can* provide entertainment that gives people a respite from the aforementioned full panic mode.
I *can* share and boost information about other people who are doing similar things.
And I can't do all those things well if I'm in full panic mode every moment of the day. But panic can creep in around the edges. One of my co-workers (doing the same job I do) quit abruptly around midnight last night when the stress of having to be on the job until midnight in order to fulfill the requirements of "well and conscientious" became too much. I don't know if the world's ambient full panic mode contributed, but I know it contributes to my overall stress level. When they officially told us about her quitting this morning, we were admonished to speak up to management or HR before we felt we were getting to a breaking point. I pointed out that we were speaking up regularly about the workload pressures (I'm certainly known for it!) and that nothing seemed to change. And now, of course, those of us who are left will need to pick up the half-finished investigations that she was working on, when we already can't keep up with our own workload.
This isn't going anywhere in particular. It's just a day when it's easy to look at the world and wonder what the use is. To feel that even just putting one foot in front of another on the path is complete failure.
