Dear Mr. Drunken Lobster Man (Also: Irresolutions for 2009)

[hrj]

But wait, I get ahead of myself.

Mom & I went to a New Years Eve potluck and games party but wimped out about an hour before midnight. New Years Day was all about traveling home. Since the guys were ensconced in front of the football games all day, Mom drove me down to Portland to catch my plane. In the interests of getting her back home early, we timed it to listen to the 1pm Capitol Steps new years concert on NPR while on the road. Even after sharing a late lunch in Portland before going to the airport, that still left me several hours before flight time. (This is relevant later.) So I was hanging out at the gate pretty much alone except for one person behind the counter when this guy comes running up to the gate carrying a large cardboard carton and with that "my plane has already left" look on his face. The counter person successfully rebooked him to his final destination via the same flight I was waiting for, so when he asked the counter person if he could leave his box of lobsters with her while he took care of some business (1st indication of Major Cluelessness -- do you expect airline personnel to serve as a luggage check? really?) I offered to keep an eye on it for him. Yeah, I know, security blah blah blah. But fergoodnessakes it was a cardboard carton full of live lobsters. You could hear them moving around. Maybe someone has invented lobster suicide vests, but ... ok, let's not go there.

So the counter agent admonished him to make sure he was at the gate half an hour before flight time and he went off to take care of whatever. Half an hour before flight time passes. Boarding is announced. The lobsters are still in my possession. Boarding begins. Still no lobster man. I hang around until the end of boarding, not so much because I feel responsible to the lobster man but because I'm going to have to explain to the (new) counter agent about the carton of lobsters that I am now going to leave sitting in the waiting area. (The infinitesimal chance of the invention of lobster suicide vests means that despite my earlier joke to the lobster man, I am not going to take someone else's box of live lobsters onto the plane with me.) At the last minute, just as I'm about to start explaining to the counter agent, this guy who'd been sitting in a nearby waiting area (with his back to me) wanders over to board and ... ta dah! it's the lobster man. He's handing his boarding pass to the agent when he suddenly looks over at the lobster box and mutters something about almost having forgotten his lobsters. At this point, it is clear that he is beyond merry. He retrieves the lobsters and thanks me for looking after them. I do not entirely succeed in refraining for pointing out that it was rude of him to have left me holding the lobsters all that time. He offers to buy me a drink on the plane. I point out that they don't serve drinks on this small a plane. This saves me from any further interactions with him. Once again, life trains me not to be generous and helpful.

I had an hour and a half layover in DC (this is relevant later) but all the flights continued on schedule. We even arrived half an hour early in SF. This is for a value of "we" that does not include my ski bag. When the ran the ID through their tracking system, they informed me that the last place it was scanned was in Chicago. WTF? "But I didn't go through Chicago!" "Well, your skis did. This can happen if you don't leave enough time to get them on the plane." I pointed out the two relevant facts mentioned above. The luggage agent shrugged and took down the delivery information. They haven't shown up yet, but the airline has secondary instructions to leave them with the downstairs tenant if I'm not home.

Irresolutions for 2009

I will get some form of the Medieval Welsh Names Database available online in searchable form.

I will set up and maintain various Lifecleaning KPIs (Key Performance Indicators), including minimum regular amounts of time spent on writing and music (e.g., at least one session per week), a minimum number of dinner party equivalents (e.g., once per month), a rejuvenation of the housecleaning program, and a minimum number of yard improvement sessions (e.g., at least one per month).

I will roll over last year's irresolutions.

Oh, and here's an ambitious one: I will do the redecorating and repurposing of the guest bedroom.

Comments

[lifeofglamour.livejournal.com]

Lobster Suicide Vests sure make for some tasty shrapnel, though!

[blaurentnv.livejournal.com]

Give him the benefit of the doubt. I'd guess that he was up too late the night before and was sleep deprived (and not overly bright to start with). He probably dozed off when he got back to the lounge before thinking to retrieve his lobsters.

[xrian.livejournal.com]

Repurposing the guest room as what?

Inquiring minds...

[hrj.livejournal.com]

Swapping in a wall-bed to leave more everyday room so I can use it as a music room (i.e., leave the instruments out where it's easier to pick something up and play) without eliminating the ability to put up guests on no notice. The redecorating will also involve painting, installing a wood-laminate floor (like in the living room), and thinking in a more organized way about what furniture should go in there. Also curtains, etc. I've never done anything in the way of decorating that room since I first moved in, and every once in a while this strikes me as a crime.

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

"Well, your skis did. This can happen if you don't leave enough time to get them on the plane."

I really don't understand why airlines still do this. Okay, sure, it's some benefit to them to "encourage" the correct behaviour from passengers, but it shouldn't be too hard to work out that the average passenger is going to be stuffed around far more often by the airline's incompetence than the airline will by the passenger's. A little goodwill goes a long way.

[msmemory.livejournal.com]

I checked in super-early for a flight to Darkover one year. The airline "helpfully" put my bag onto the preceding flight---which was cancelled! So my bag trailed me instead of preceding me.