Why Can't I Have Nice Things?

[hrj]

So now they took my car. From out of my driveway. Last night while I was sleeping. And once again I get to do the whole thing with police reports and insurance companies and turning my life and schedule upside down to deal with details while trying to maintain a competent professional life and keep up with all my personal commitments. I know I do a good impression of brushing it all off and just carrying on, but what I really really want to do is go crawl in a hole and cry and not come out again until the world is a friendly, pleasant, sane place where I'm allowed to have nice things without random anonymous assholes breaking them or taking them away from me. You know, if someone were actually specifically targeting me for persecution I'm not sure how different it could be. No, don't answer that.

Maybe my life would be simpler if I just sold this house and got a nice little just-me place somewhere with a lower crime rate. No burglaries, no car thefts, no vandalism, no hassles of being a landlady. I'm so very very tired.

Comments

[etumukutenyak.livejournal.com]

UGH! My sympathies, for what it's worth -- the constant dripping of adversity would wear down the strongest soul given enough time, and you've had plenty of adverse events. I wish I could do more for you.

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

We would love it if you moved this direction!

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

You want to come hang out for a bit? At least come for Ariane and Plis' Crab feed on the Friday before invest? If not longer!

[hrj.livejournal.com]

Have the details on that been sent out somewhere? I saw a mention of it, but it sounded like it was aimed at out-of-town visitors.

[ysabella-dolfin.livejournal.com]

Well, it is kind of aimed at the poeple TE's would like to have some dinner with! And would most certainly be you :)

[syele.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all this ridiculous crime! Maybe a change of locale is in order...

[stitchwhich.livejournal.com]

Ye gods and little fishes, wth? (<- that's like "WTF" only more polite). Seriously? You've been robbed again?

I can't offer any help at all but know that someone else is joining you in outrage.

[klwilliams.livejournal.com]

I'm so sorry. I know you loved your car. It was a very nice car. And maybe it is time to consider selling and moving to a smaller place.

[jpgsawyer.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear this. Usually I say "This is why I am not allowed nice things" because of my own incompetence not other peoples nastiness.

Hope things get better soon.

[zeborah]

Oh, that sucks rocks. I'm not at all surprised you want to crawl into a hole; and it's so unfair that you even have to consider leaving this place that you obviously love to avoid stress that you shouldn't be getting anywhere. :-(

[khiemtran.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear it. I would have given up already if it had been me.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

I'm stubborn that way. Also, selling a house that you're living in (and that you have tenants living in) is not without its own stresses.

[giselle0002.livejournal.com]

O, hon! I can't begin to imagine what it feels like to be hit again like this. Honestly, yes, sell and move and be somewhere else. You don't need this crap. No one does.

Unlike some folks, you have options ... the option to live somewhere you feel safe and can spend your time concentrating on your life and your friends and your work and research.

And don't look at it as if you're giving in or letting them win. "They" are a constant in our world like a force of nature. They don't care about you and if they are caught and imprisoned they will be replaced by a dozen others like them. You can only stand in the storm and scream into the wind so long before you're worn out ...and the storm rages on.

In any case, whatever you decide, I am so sorry this has happened. ~hugs~

[hudebnik.livejournal.com]

OMG. As you say, it's not just the hassle of dealing with insurance companies and keeping your life running, it's the sense of violation and unfairness.

As it happens, we were discussing burglaries and break-ins at a class I was in last night. The teacher, a very proper 70-odd-year-old lady, described how after her break-in she would look out the window of her apartment, shaking with rage as she thought "which one of you bastards was it?"

I am so sorry.

[houseboatonstyx.livejournal.com]

Is this the place that's like a tree house? That's worth a lot of courage.

I had a kill switch installed in my car, not too expensive. It's a hidden switch that prevents the battery engaging, so an attempt to start it just causes a loud 'low battery' kind of noise.

Good luck with it all.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

There's always one more level of security one can add. And there's always one more level of criminal effort that can overcome it. I'd already started coming to terms with the conclusion that I might leave this place when I retire, and that makes it more possible to contemplate leaving sooner. I've invested a lot of myself into this property, but there have been several points along the way when I acknowledged that it was with the knowledge that I might leave it all behind some day.

[allison-is.livejournal.com]

Are other houses in your area targeted too?

[hrj.livejournal.com]

Other people in my neighborhood have experienced multiple break-ins/thefts/etc. I don't seriously believe I'm being specifically targeted, but it wouldn't feel much different if I were.

[smoooom.livejournal.com]

Oh crap, you do need a nice place ot crawl into to have a good cry, several in fact. I can tell you from personal experience that eventually that level of "Holding it together" fails to work. no matter what the out side stressor is. You don't have to hold it together, can you take a few personal days? I read a book that I knew would set me of and for the next few days sobbed like a baby at every turn, I took some nice long baths, had Wayne and The guys help with Vicky, and Spent a lot of time in bed crying and or sleeping. Nothing had changed when I'd done. But oddly I felt better.

As to moving. I have no idea about that sort of stuff. Would it make you feel safer etc? could you sell and all that stuff come to mind.

Hugs, lots of them if they help, I wishI could do something useful, being victimised must suck. Personally I'd move, but that's me.

[kareina.livejournal.com]

I wonder if there is anything locals in your area could do that would decrease the crime rate? Certainly moving is always an option (says the one who moves every few years whether she needs to or not), but *why* do other areas have a lower crime rate than where you are, and what changes, if any, could make your area a better place? If there is anything locals could do, would it be worth the effort, or is it easier to either keep dealing with the police reports regularly, or to move?

You certainly have been the target of thefts more often then anyone else I know (unless the others aren't mentioning it in my hearing). Many hugs, and may they manage to recover your car, undamaged, and return it to you.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

"Locals in my area" ... you mean the entire city of Oakland? This isn't just my neighborhood. This city has some intractable problems. And one of the problems is a vast amount of denial and defensiveness among the relatives, friends, and associates of the criminals. You can catch someone in the act walking out of your house with your tv in hand and his mother will swear he's a good boy who would never do anything like that and you're just persecuting him. We have a neighborhood e-mail list in my area and you should see the vicim-blaming that goes on when you post about a crime ... to say nothing of the vicious responses should you dare to describe a suspect.

[kareina.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear. Does that leave you with any alternatives besides cope with semi-regular thefts or moving?

[cbpotts.livejournal.com]

I am so sorry to hear this. I hope they recover your car quickly; that this chain of luck turns quickly.

[filkerdave.livejournal.com]

That sucks. Totally :(

Hugs offered

[vittoriosa.livejournal.com]

that is horrible!!!! i am so, so sorry. :-( i hope they catch the bastards.

[joycebre.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you have to constantly deal with this. I know you love your place, but I think you might love another place too. It's a hassle and scary to make big changes, like selling a house and moving. It just comes down to which is better - moving or staying?

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's a horrible thing to happen, especially as you've had the burglaries to deal with too.

[vnend.livejournal.com]

Oh, that rots. I hope it was 'just' for a joyride and you get it back without too much damage. But, yes, the steady pace of these affronts has to be a grind. Hugs when I see you (I hope) in a few weeks. I have the mini-book we spoke about a couple of years ago for you when we do.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

I'll be there. November shall not defeat me!

[xrian.livejournal.com]

That is so profoundly discouraging. I don't know what the best solution is, but do whatever it takes to make you happy.

Hugs.

[green-knight.livejournal.com]

Commiserations - that's a lousy thing to wake up to.

If you no longer trust your home, looking into another place might not be the worst idea.

[d-salie.livejournal.com]

Totally sucks! Hang in there.

[eowyna.livejournal.com]

How Gut-wrenchingly Horrible! {{{{{{hugs }}}}}

My car was stolen many years ago, from inside my garage. But it was the culmination of a home invasion, so they took my roommate and me prisoner, and loaded all the portable, negotiable items (and the phones) from the condo into the car before they took it. So your problem could be worse. And it could get worse.

After that is when I started shopping for a dog. Now I (well, we -I now have a hulking big husband, too *grin* ) have two dogs - a large black one (the watch dog really does spend a lot of time just watching what goes on outside), and a little alarm dog (she doesn't watch, but if the big one signals something wrong, she goes off, loudly). Also installed motion-sensor spotlights at that condo. And we also eventually moved to a better neighborhood.

Please consider carefully what it would take to make you be safe, and to feel safe. If you stay - consider motion sensor lighting. Exterior cameras these days are not that expensive, and can be made quite unobtrusive -- but are best for finding culprits afterwards, not deterring them in the first place. Fencing? Gates? Grills? Dog? Are there such things as safety consultants? The police may be able to recommend someone like that.

I hope you your car is found quickly, and that it is in driveable condition. {{{{hugs again}}}}

[hrj.livejournal.com]

Well, I finally got a home burglar alarm. I've thought about motion-activated lights and cameras, but I've heard stories from neighbors who have camera systems that even when you get a clear shot of someone in commission of a crime, it doesn't result in the police taking action. And suggesting that I get a dog is as much of a non-starter as suggesting that I get a hulking big husband. :)

[eowyna.livejournal.com]

I realize the hulking husband option is not in your list of possibilities. Didn't realize that dogs were that much of a non-starter.

[bunnyjadwiga.livejournal.com]

*sends moral support*

[blaurentnv.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry to hear of the theft. Dealing with the police about a crime can almost be more stressful than the event itself. Until the economy picks up, there are few (if any) low crime rate areas. We're in one that is theoretically low crime rate. Both of our cars have been broken into since we've been here. Two doors down, there's a highway patrolman - he's had gasoline siphoned from his car. Down the street, one of the weekenders had his/her entire house cleaned out.

I now have a camera watching our front yard.

Moving is a big hassle and might not solve the problem! It could remove the landlord hassles, but you could discover problems that your new home has that you would have to deal with anyway.

Good luck!

[ppfuf.livejournal.com]

Damn, losing your car bites! I hope there wasn't too much in it.
If you're serious about moving, there's houses for sale in my neighborhood. Of course, the commute might drive you batty.

[hrj.livejournal.com]

To the extent that I'm thinking about it seriously, I'm thinking in terms of the Concord/Walnut Creek area. I fully expect to be working in biotech for the duration, so as long as I have BART access, a commute would be manageable. I wouldn't want to be somewhere that I didn't have public transport as a viable option.

[helblonde.livejournal.com]

Sweet mother of pearl! Not again! I'm so sorry to hear you've had another theft.

If it were me, I'd be seriously considering moving. Or, at the least, a kick-donkey security set up. How much aggrivation and loss of time, money, and sense of security is too much for you? Only you can say.

[onalark.livejournal.com]

Ugh.

My house in St. Louis was broken into once, and things were often stolen from the garage. I didn't know I was carrying around the stress of living in a place that wasn't safe until I moved to Irvine for my new job. Irvine is ridiculously squeaky clean, and normally my nature is to rebel utterly against that kind of sparkly perfection, but there was something so...relaxing about knowing that I could walk out at night and not need to fear for my safety.

There are days I miss my little brick house, because it was small and cozy and mine. It still is mine, in fact -- I rent it to a family because I can't sell it. In the meantime, though, I am getting used to feeling like safety is normal. It was one of the many subtle things that changed in my life after I changed my geographical location.

The decision is tough. I wish you best. Please take care.

[cellio]

Argh! How sucktastic!

[anotheranon.livejournal.com]

Aw man - again :(

I can't blame you for wanting to leave. This has happened too often to you...

[ebonlock.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I'm so sorry to hear about your car, if there's anything I can do to help I'd be happy to.

[patoadam]

What rotten luck! Or not entirely luck, since, as you point out, you are in a high crime area. Hope the police and your insurance company are easy to deal with.

[elizabear.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I'm so sorry you're being subjected to so much suck.