What not to learn about life from one's cat

[hrj]

You know that genre of books along the lines of "Everything I Needed to Know in Life I Learned from my [insert category of animal or person here]"? Well, I think we need the cautionary equivalent: "Behaviors That Aren't Any More Functional in You Than in Your Cat". You know -- all those quirks of human behavior that are frustrating enough in a pet but that you think humans might be able to figure out better. I'll point out that I'm not actually complaining about any particular human being at the moment -- simply seeing the symbolic echoes. I've always tended to claim that I don't go for humans that have canine personalities: the whole emotional dependence, monomaniacal, lack of body awareness sort of thing. But that's not to say that feline personalities don't have their own issues. Here's today's piece of feline unwisdom:

Sometimes it's a good idea to settle for the lap. If you insist on the chest, you'll get the floor instead. It's a very nice lap. The chest isn't really any better. And the floor is no fun. And what's more, I get the sneaking suspicion that if I gave you the chest you'd want the face.

Comments

[mastersantiago.livejournal.com]

It's probably not a good idea for people to hack up furballs on the carpet either.... *smile*

I never particularly thought of identifying personality types by animals this way. Interesting idea.

[folkmew.livejournal.com]

I think you have an excellent point there and that last example... at least if you are in a steady long term relationship, (and probably if at least one of you is a woman) could easily apply as well!

ahem.

Sorry. I couldn't resist!!

[madfilkentist]

Another thought along those lines: Meowing all night may get you your way, but the long-term cost will be high.

[loup_noir]

*sniffs* Cat person.

I'll take loyalty, unconditional love and great listening ability over hair balls, yowling and conditional affection. Woof.

[wulfsdottir.livejournal.com]

I'll also vote "peeing on the carpet may get you mailed surface to Mongolia in a box with no holes" for that list.

And not all of us with canine personalities are like yellow labs on speed. ;)

[gunnora.livejournal.com]

My piece of feline unwisdom:

You are a cat. You do not need any of my bed, much less all of it. I allow you to sleep up here with me out of the goodness of my heart, but that does not grant you ownership privledges.

You are not allowed to plant all four feet in my back and try to shove me over. You are not allowed to sleep on my pillow on top of my head like a hat. And you absolutely are not allowed to hiss, growl, or heaven save your mangy hide bite/scratch if you think you need more of the bed than I allot to you.

(I do wonder how a 22 lb cat can somehow overtake more of the bed than my sister's giant Bumpus Dogs...)