Like I need another writing project...

[hrj]

 Usually I do my talking-about-writing on my blog, but this is a bit more in the "unofficial talking" line, so I thought this might be a better space.

There's an Alpennia story that I would like to have exist, but I'm dithering a bit over whether I want to write it. Whether I can write it.

I've solidly established that the Alpennia books are "closed door" with regard to on-page sex. The major reason is that that's the flavor of story I wanted them to be, but there's also a certain amount of being very uncertain of my ability to write good, believable sex scenes. I'm a bit more open to giving it a try in Alpennia short fiction, though I haven't done so yet. But the story that I want to have exist would pretty much require explicit sex scenes, one of which would definitely not be appropriate to include in the books being published by Bella Books.

You see, the story I want to have exist is Antuniet and Jeanne's trip to Prague--or more specifically, their stop-over in Heidelberg to get Antuniet pregnant. I know how that story goes. I know the unexpected emotional speedbumps. (Antuniet is perfectly certain that she can grit her teeth and treat the whole thing as a business transaction. She's less able to cope with other parties refusing to do so. Jeanne has a talent for arranging other people's social lives, but she never expected to play go-between for her beloved with her beloved's sperm donor.) The things we learn about the characters. (Jeanne and Antuniet have a serious talk about how Antuniet feels about sex.) The minor redemption of a character who got a bit of a bad rap in The Mystic Marriage. (Tentative bit of dialogue: "Will you allow me to admit that I was a complete ass?") You know the bit in Mother of Souls when Barbara metaphorically pins Antuniet against the wall and demands to know if Jeanne knows about the pregnancy and Antuniet says with studied casualness, "She was there"? That scene.

In a way, it's a story that would work better written as fan-fic. For the briefest of moments I contemplated writing it and then posting it anonymously on AO3, but I feel like that would be breaking some sort of authorial trust.

But I've created a folder and a document with plot notes, which is no guarantee but indicates more than a passing fancy.

Comments

[kareina]

I really, really want to read that story! Could you co-write it with someone who has a talent for (and takes joy in) writing good sex scenes? With the right co-author you could get the best of both worlds--you have the authority to make certain that everything unfolds exactly as you know it did, but you also get someone else's input for the parts that aren't so interesting for you to write.

[hrj]

I figure it's probably best for me to give it my best shot and then find someone who falls between "really great beta" and "sex editor". Though one of the ideas I have toyed with would be a co-author. But if I'm using it to try my hand at writing sex scenes, I should probably grit my teeth and give it a go. It isn't even so much "not interesting for me to write" as "when I'm making up what it feels like to do alchemy and perform religious mysteries, it only has to be plausible, but if I make up what it feels like to experience sexual desire and response people will know I'm faking it."

I need to take the plunge at some point, because I have every intention of writing historical romances that have more overt sex in them. (As well as ones that don't.)

[kareina]

I don't agree that people will necessarily know that you are faking it--no two of us have the same reactions to the same stimulus, you only need the reactions to be plausible for what we know of the character, it doesn't have to match the reader's reaction to a similar situation. Those of us who know you well enough that we have heard your discussions on the topic will know that you don't share your character's responses, but that doesn't mean you can't write their responses convincingly. You don't share Jeanne's love of certain forms of social interaction, yet you manage to convince me that she gets lots out of them. Why should sex be any different?

However, if you have a co-author in mind that you would enjoy working with, there isn't any reason you can't practice writing the scene first, and then together re-write it, is there? I must admit that while this sounds like a particularly challenging story to do just for "practice", I am not at all surprised that you, of all people, would consider starting out with an especially challenging one. :-)

This is also a story I would be happy to beta read for you, if you want. I enjoyed doing that for Ursula's recent story (though would have to ask her if she thought my comments were useful enough).

[hairmonger]

what she said.
Mary Anne in Kentucky

Agree

[glassesofjustice]

I too very much want this to happen, but for purely selfish reasons and because Antuniet and Jeanne are my favorite pair. Sex aside, this seems like a really intense scene, so a lot to take on.

With sex scenes in fiction I’ve read and written there seems to be a varying mix of write what you know, fake it till you make it, fiction is fiction is fiction. Frankly no one knows better than you how your characters are feeling. None of us have experienced wlw sex in 1824, so that’s an advantage.

I understand your trepidation, but there are lots of great betas and editors out there who can, I’m sure, help confirm you are on the right path. The amazing thing about sex is there is so much variety out there, like most everything else, there isn’t “one experience” so there is lots of wiggle room and it sounds like you are inspired. Okay, I’m rambling. I just want to encourage you to give it a go, and then not beat yourself up if it doesn’t turn out how you hope. But do try! Oh, and get it out there however you want. There is no rule or general understanding that authors who chose to write fanfic have to divulge their identity, and/or that authors can’t fanfic their own origfic (one of my other favorite authors does this). Or maybe self pub as short on Alpennia site a la “Three Nights at the Opera” or via amazon. I would buy it.

[ursula]

Er, I don't think I have hrj on the filter where I usually talk about writing sex scenes! But the existence of said filter should tell you that it's something that I think about occasionally and would be happy to beta-read.

[hrj]

Well, it isn't a topic I've previously had practical use for! I'll note you down as a potential beta-reader (though you likely would have been on the query email for betas anyway).