Mortgage Excitement and Terror
Dec. 12th, 2005 10:03 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hrjThe appraiser is scheduled and today I got a big fat packet from the mortgage broker with all sorts of paperwork to review, sign, and return. So now I need to sit down (either metaphorically or, if we wait for next week, literally) with the parents and decide on a purchase price for the house. The bank is willing to lend me what I consider a frightening amount of money. More ruminations follow:
The "terror" part of the reaction is easily identifiable and easily dismissable. Once the house is entirely mine, there won't be anybody else there to bail things out if disaster strikes. This is, of course, the essence of being a grown up. So it may be understandable but it's just something to acknowledge and move on. On the financial end, I've got a good, stable job for a company that isn't going away and every expectation of continuing to improve my standing there.
Of course, there'd be even more financial confidence if I had a partner (not a business partner, a life partner) -- both for additional income and the unlikelihood of something ever happening to both jobs at once. I was comparing notes with a co-worker who's also currently doing the house-buying thing about the likelihood of being a homeowner making one more attractive to women. We concluded that if it did, it would be the wrong sort of women. I guess it's the whole "life stages" thing that makes me grumpy over being single. I've never really wanted to be single all my life, I've just never been so afraid of it that I was willing to make silly choices. Some day I'm going to write an essay on the topic of "Ten Lies That Coupled Friends Tell Single People" including the one about, "Just participate in activities that interest you and you'll meet compatible people." Maybe it works for people with a looser definition of "compatible", like "good buddies but not actually romantically interested in you" or "romantically interested in some fantasy they have pasted your face onto". Well, not sure how this veered off onto that topic.
The "terror" part of the reaction is easily identifiable and easily dismissable. Once the house is entirely mine, there won't be anybody else there to bail things out if disaster strikes. This is, of course, the essence of being a grown up. So it may be understandable but it's just something to acknowledge and move on. On the financial end, I've got a good, stable job for a company that isn't going away and every expectation of continuing to improve my standing there.
Of course, there'd be even more financial confidence if I had a partner (not a business partner, a life partner) -- both for additional income and the unlikelihood of something ever happening to both jobs at once. I was comparing notes with a co-worker who's also currently doing the house-buying thing about the likelihood of being a homeowner making one more attractive to women. We concluded that if it did, it would be the wrong sort of women. I guess it's the whole "life stages" thing that makes me grumpy over being single. I've never really wanted to be single all my life, I've just never been so afraid of it that I was willing to make silly choices. Some day I'm going to write an essay on the topic of "Ten Lies That Coupled Friends Tell Single People" including the one about, "Just participate in activities that interest you and you'll meet compatible people." Maybe it works for people with a looser definition of "compatible", like "good buddies but not actually romantically interested in you" or "romantically interested in some fantasy they have pasted your face onto". Well, not sure how this veered off onto that topic.
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Date: 2005-12-26 03:14 pm (UTC)I never grokked dating, and have only been in two long-term relationships. Both of them were people I'd known for years -- through shared interests -- and then we found that there was a stronger attraction. I don't know how one jump-starts this process.