Feeling broken

[hrj]

 There's something about Fridays. I don't quite know what. After my first couple books were published, Fridays were always the day I had an emotional crisis about how no one would every read my work and I'd never get a chance to finish writing the series and I'd never find my audience because I'd made bad choices and I was just generally an incompetent human being.

Today was going along ok -- making good progress on my older investigations, only mildly annoyed at getting a new one dropped on me that has a schedule that doesn't work well with my planned vacation. Then around the end of the work day I spotted some tweets about how it was Asexual Visibility Day (hey, at  least Hallmark hasn't picked up on it) and I went and spilled some emotions on twitter, and then over dinner in the garden I watched The Half of It (which is the proximal reason why I decided to subscribe to Netflix), and when it was over I started ugly-crying for a while and probably scared the neighbors.

So many feelings.

Fridays. Ugh.

I should probably stop writing because I'll just be messy all over everything.

Comments

[hrj]

5/8 - temperature 96.9 -- a new low! Probably because I got out of bed at 5:30, with some contribution from having the windows open and fan going on high. Bike ride at lunch, masked. I stopped at the corner ad hoc fruit stand and bought some cherries, so there was second-hand contact of fruit and cash. After putting my bike away, I walked down to the AM/PM mart at the gas station to buy milk for yogurt and a few snacks. Masked, but ore second-hand contact including getting some cash back from ATM. (Denise mentioned that they've started the Tuesday farmer's market at Concord High so I want some cash to make it part of my bike routine.) Sunday will mark a full 2 months of Shelter-in-Place. Feels like forever. Feels like yesterday.

[threadwalker]

Hugs.

[alithea]

*hugs* offered

[hawkwing_lb]

*hugs*

[hudebnik]

Yeah, what they said.

You are an extraordinarily accomplished, intelligent, competent, admirable, and lovable person. Anybody who says otherwise, including you, is itching for a fight.

[kareina]

Hudebink has a good summary there. I am sorry that Fridays can be so hard, and wish there was something I could do to help. But if knowing you have dedicated fans like me doesn't make it easier, I don't know what will.

[beth_bernobich]

I love your writing SO MUCH. #teambarbara

[ursula]

(reading, listening)

[hrj]

Thanks all.

[katerit]

Today felt very surreal - all of it has, but it hit home today.

You are an amazing writer with strong control of voice and mood and an ability to tie together plot lines and points of view. I wish I could help get it out to more people.

Yes - seems like forever, seems like yesterday. That.