Little bits of life

[hrj]

Today seems to be about doing little tiny things. Slept a full 8 hours (but not so much on the "rest" thing). Used the audio books to get back to sleep around 4am but didn't need them to drop off initially. Clipped the cat's claws. Got a haircut. (Went back to Supercuts rather than the salon, this once, because I didn't want to deal with making an appointment.) Wrote a few pages on the novel so that if I don't get back to it later I've done my day's bit. I think I'll pre-pack for my Thanksgiving trip. There's always the possibility that the trip destination will be diverted, but for the moment I'm continuing with my pre-existing plans.

Yesterday was Mists Investiture, so I've completed my service on duchessletitia's court. I feel like I didn't actually do that much, but then she had lots of people so there's no guilt over it. I felt completely exhausted by the afternoon and took a couple of sanity retreats to sit quietly (which gave me a chance to get my day's writing in), but I stayed through dinner, which was excellent. (And featured some very tasty fish dishes -- something not all cooks have the daring to feature.) Got some nice chats in, but I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of becoming a bore. It's a fine balance between being forthright and honest about what's going on in my life and simply becoming tedious about it.

This morning I actually contemplated talking to a doctor about some temporary anti-anxiety medicine. I hate the idea of pills, given that I'm actually coping reasonably well, all things considered. Besides which, at the moment, getting myself organized to talk to someone about stress issues would create more stress than it would relieve.

Comments

[duchessletitia.livejournal.com]

I thought you were amazing on my court. The trip up to Cynagua Coronet was so much fun. I love hanging out with you.

[aureellia.livejournal.com]

Things are hard now. Do what feels right.

I just with to say that you are coping well. You are sane. You are lovely. I still find you a wonderful companion. Do as you will, but know there are those who still find you rational.

[cryptocosm.livejournal.com]

I didn't much care for the idea of going on anti-anxiety medication until I tried some and found out what a difference it made. YMMV.

Of the suggestions made in my stress management class, you're already getting regular exercise and keeping up your social contacts. Ruling out religion, the one other thing mentioned was active relaxation techniques along the lines of yoga or meditation. If you care to wade through the newage, there might be something useful there. Does your gym offer yoga classes?

[hrj.livejournal.com]

I have a number of meditation-like-objects that I use when useful. Focused breathing. Visualization. Heck, even the "mind movies" that I use for plotting my writing work fairly well as meditation if I have a good plot-line building. It's the inability to concentrate fully that really grinds me down.

[cryptocosm.livejournal.com]

Well, if you've already tried the things that don't involve talking to a medical professional, and those aren't getting the job done to your satisfaction . . .

Or, to put it another way: If you had a physical symptom affecting you to a similar degree, what options would you consider?

[hrj.livejournal.com]

Well, to a large extent, I am talking about a physical symptom. On the other hand, now that I'm taking action, the stress will fade a bit.

[wulfsdottir.livejournal.com]

{{hugs}}

I went through much the same argument with myself when my life took on certain aspects of a fireworks show finale and didn't end up seeing the doctor. I have since wondered whether that was the correct choice on numerous occasions, as my memory appears to have had large holes eaten in it by repeated application of cortisol.

If you do end up taking medication, you may want to inquire about one that you can cut in half -- both my mother and my grandmother have taken Xanax, and found that a whole pill made them sleep, but that half of one allowed them to cope with some admittedly difficult situations.

I wish you what peace there is to be found at this time.