Day by day

Nov. 8th, 2010 09:41 pm
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I dont' quite think I rise to the level of PTSD but I'm definitely being sucked dry by depression at the moment. I had a major crying jag on Saturday that rather startled me. So, of course, this is the perfect time to have collegium and the feast to prepare for this weekend, and investiture to prepare for the next weekend, and three new investigations assigned at work today all of which are due within the next week [1], and then we plunge into the extended holiday season. But I've written something for IWriSloMo every day so far this month. And the more I contemplate it, the more comfortable I am with the thought of moving. (Although I'm still daunted by the amount of work it will involve.) Life goes on.

[1] Fortunately, the very impossibility of meeting these deadlines lets me off the hook to some extent.
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Today seems to be about doing little tiny things. Slept a full 8 hours (but not so much on the "rest" thing). Used the audio books to get back to sleep around 4am but didn't need them to drop off initially. Clipped the cat's claws. Got a haircut. (Went back to Supercuts rather than the salon, this once, because I didn't want to deal with making an appointment.) Wrote a few pages on the novel so that if I don't get back to it later I've done my day's bit. I think I'll pre-pack for my Thanksgiving trip. There's always the possibility that the trip destination will be diverted, but for the moment I'm continuing with my pre-existing plans.

Yesterday was Mists Investiture, so I've completed my service on [livejournal.com profile] duchessletitia's court. I feel like I didn't actually do that much, but then she had lots of people so there's no guilt over it. I felt completely exhausted by the afternoon and took a couple of sanity retreats to sit quietly (which gave me a chance to get my day's writing in), but I stayed through dinner, which was excellent. (And featured some very tasty fish dishes -- something not all cooks have the daring to feature.) Got some nice chats in, but I feel like I'm teetering on the edge of becoming a bore. It's a fine balance between being forthright and honest about what's going on in my life and simply becoming tedious about it.

This morning I actually contemplated talking to a doctor about some temporary anti-anxiety medicine. I hate the idea of pills, given that I'm actually coping reasonably well, all things considered. Besides which, at the moment, getting myself organized to talk to someone about stress issues would create more stress than it would relieve.

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